The Pain

Lately pain is all that I know
I just try not to let it show
From the loss of my son
To the emotional loss of other loved ones
My heart is heavy with sorrow
I no longer look forward to tomorrows
Because tomorrow is just another day that I'll cry
Sometimes I don't even know why
I wish the pain would go away
I wish some people, thoughts, and memories could be washed away
I wish I could remove this scar from my heart
It feels like its been hit with a million darts
But no one ever understands me
So I let my emotions and feelings be
Do I not deserve to be happy?
Why do I feel like no one loves me?
I'm tired of being the supportive one for everyone else
When no one cares about my health
I give without question
Don't take without hesitation
Yet who's even doing for me?
Oh that's right, nobody
The pain is so real
I don't know that my heart will ever heal
But I'm dying inside
From all of these feelings that I hide
I just want it all to go away
I just want see better days

Unreal

You're not the man I thought you to be
I'm sure you didn't find the woman you wanted in me
What happened to us?
What happened to our trust?
What happened to the fun?
What happened to the bond that couldn't be undone?
All of that faded away
Now all I can see is rainy days
You got me drinking until I'm drunk
Passing out and not giving a fuck
Smoking until I'm sky high
Just to block you out of my mind
Never thought I'd feel this way about you
But I don't feel that you were being true
I don't know what you needed from me
You got everything you need from what I see
So why keep me around?
Why keep me down?
You don't do what you used to
You don't talk to me the way you used to
I feel like it's destined to end
I feel like I have been lost my friend
Feel like your little puppet
Starting to feel like shit
Therefore I think we need to quit
I don't know how to feel
Don't know what's real
So I don't think we can be friends
I think that chapter in life has to end
But I know that you'll be okay
You have all that you need anyway
So I chuck the deuces to you
And the man I thought was my boo

Bum Ass Niggas

I'm in my feelings again
But this time it's the end
Because I can't deal with your shit
You act like a bitch
I'm tired of playing games
I get pissed whenever I see your name
I want to punch you in your face
After I put you in your place
If you keep fucking with me
Then I'm going to catch a body
You're soft as can be
And sweet as honey
Don't make me pull your card
Cuz you try to be hard
But I know the real you
So don't make me tell the truth
I'm so close to going in
But I'm trying to be your friend
This shit is getting harder
And you keep pushing me farther
So go take it up the butt
And shut the fuck up
And it's best that you leave me alone
Before I send shots through your home

Dark Clouds

I'm stressed out of my mind
Feel like I'm in a race against time
My loved ones are against me
Friends turned enemies
Seems like no one cares
Although they claimed they would be there
It breaks my heart
I feel like life is falling apart
And who can I turn to
When everyone is against you
It hurts so bad
Other times I'm overly mad
I don't wear my heart on my sleeves
But I never expected to see my loved ones leave
I try to be there for anyone that I can
I try to be a thoughtful and loving woman
But why take the high road
When they are letting their true colors show
Tired of being hurt
Tired of being treated like dirt
Tired of hanging my head low
I just want to let go
I just want to say goodbye
So that I no longer have to cry
I no longer want to hear lies
I just want to close my eyes and die

No More Burden

Doing what I do
Only I'm doing it without you
See you left my mind open
Which left me wishing and hoping
And when my mind starts to wonder
It's like lighting and thunder
I stopped believing the fantasy
And discovered a new me
Now it's time to forget everyone else
I'm focused on myself
No one to feed me lies
No one to make me repeatedly cry
No feelings attached
So no strings attached
Although there isn't another you
That's kind of the point too
I'm free
To be me
You're free to be you
And do what you do
But I'm not mad
Far from sad
And I wish the best to you
In all that you do

I'm Back

I guess it can't be undone
I can't settle for just one
Yeah give me a thick bitch
That knows how to lick the clit
A pretty face
With a slim waist
Manicured nails
Hypnotic smell
And amazing breast
To match the rest

A smart mouth

When she's going south

She's in a class of her own

Both in public and at home

A true freak in the bed

She keeps me grounded with that head

When she puts her breast in my face

I can't help but to get a taste

Yeah I couldn't stay away long

I love my redbone

She puts that sparkle in my eye

Especially when she parts her thighs

She's my homie, lover, and friend 

And together we're about to run this world again

Yep, forever my queen

But this time I'm going to let it be seen

I love her and that's a fact

So everybody can get lost because I'm back!

Obsession

My love for you had grown too strong
By the time that I realized this things had gone wrong
I had lost the desire to be touched by you
I probably wouldn't even have been able to look at you
And you know that I loved looking into your eyes
But lately I felt that they were holding lies
Just as I loved being in your arms
Being seduced by your charm
It used to be you that I adored
But not anymore
And I'm not writing this to hurt you
Yet to be true
Because I thought the world of you
I thought you felt the same way about me too
Until I spent an entire day crying
Internally I felt as if I were dying
Then I heard God's words
And HE told me that this would hurt
That this was something that I had to do
I had to let go of you
Because you had already let go of me
I just didn't want to face reality
God opened my eyes and stopped my tears
HE told me that it was time to face my fears
HE told me that it was time to move on
That HE is my protector and HE'S protecting me from things going wrong
And suddenly a peace came over me
Although I still wasn't happy
I understood what had been said
I saw that what we had was already dead
And deep down inside of me
I feel like you also wanted to be free
Was it lust over love anyway?
Well for me it was love any day
It hurts to feel this way about you
I never ever wanted to lose you
I still love you with all of my heart
Never thought anything would tear us apart
But my love for you turned obsession
Leading to my depression
In the beginning we were friends
And I hope that we can be friends once again

No More Tears

The current way that I feel
Cannot be undone by any pill
With all that I am facing
My mind is constantly racing
My heart is heavy with sorrow
With no promise that I'll see tomorrow
My eyes are so dry
Because all I do is cry
I never thought that I'd feel this way
Never thought I'd see the day that I push you away
No longer do I desire to be touched by you
I'm not even sure that I could look at you
You've lost my trust
Now I'm not sure if it was love or just lust
I wasted so much time
Now I'm going out of my mind
I wish that I could erase you from my life
You might say that isn't right
But I say fuck you
Do what you do
You never cared about me
Truth is that you only wanted the pussy
So round of applause for you succeeded
But I hope that you are happy with memories because everything involving you has been deleted

Dead Inside

My heart aches
I never thought this love would break
I never thought it to be true
That I would be hurt by you
No words can express my pain
Tears flow whenever I see your name
But I go on as if everything is fine
Although it weighs heavy on my mind
Everything in me says let go
But my heart screams no
And I feel so selfish at times
Because I want a love that is all mine
I want someone to truly love me
Someone that I can call family
I've been so loyal to you
Yet I can't say the same about you too
Like, do you really mean what you say?
Are they just words to get your way?
Are you really there for me?
Can you withstand the insanity?
So many questions run through my mind
Then I remember that you're not mine
Suddenly none of my questions really matter anymore
And I'm left with feelings of being a whore
My heart beats for you
Yet you belong to someone else too
I fell in love with the wrong man
Because you already have a woman
Then I break down all over again
Wishing that I could make it all end
I've never felt this way before
But I'm not strong enough to close the door
So I try to hide it day to day
Although it's getting hard to keep my feelings at bay
And it's during these times that I want to lie down and die
Because I already feel like I'm dead inside

Crushed

I opened my heart to love again
And I fell head over heels in love with a close friend
A dangerous game no doubt
But I thought I knew what he was about
I couldn't have imagined anything like this
He could make me melt with a simple kiss
His words comforted me
His touch sent tingles through my body
His smile warmed my heart
His hugs made me feel like nothing could tear us apart
But things have become too hard for me
As I have faced reality
The reality that he belongs to another woman
And I to another man
We knew this from the start
But I thought nothing could tear us apart
Our bond was so strong
And had been for so long
But can it remain that way
Once I say that I can't stay
Because the thing that put me in my place
Is the one memory that I wish I could replace
He decided to start a new chapter in his life
When he decided to make her his wife
I cried many tears
As I realized my fears
That I would lose my boo
And be hurt too
He never understood why this bothered me
When I already had a family
But I didn't complete mine while loving on him
And I didn't hide it from him
The fact that he chose this time
Really played with my mind
It told me that what we had was obsolete
And that she made his life complete
This has plagued me for so long
And I can't keep ignoring this feeling of being wrong
He could have just let me go
Or did it years ago
But besides that
Let's face facts
I was in love with someone that I shouldn't have been
Because of our past we should have never been more than friends
I could never have had my boo
Even if I was given the opportunity to
Which is sad because I loved him more anything
Including the man that gave me my ring
But he taught me many things
Because thoughts of him made me want to sing
So I know that there's hope for me
That one day I'll find my true King

Come Get It

Come make love to me
I want your hands all over my body
Kiss me passionately as you enter my pussy
Please baby take advantage of me
For so long I've dreamt of this day
And I'll let nothing stand in our way
Because it's you that I desire
The only one that can put out my fire
Even though I play in my wetness
It's thoughts of you that help me to make a mess
I love your firm grip
When you grab my hips
Being in your arms
Swimming in your charm
Feeling your lips on my body
As your hands find my pussy
And I love the scent of your cologne
That lingers long after you're gone
I'm infatuated with you
And all of my thoughts of you too
But that's perfectly okay
I wouldn't have it any other way
Because baby I love you

I Stand Alone

As I stand here alone
In this broken home
Letting these tears flow freely
As if it's freeing me
I look down at this ring
It no longer means a thing
Because love no longer lives here
If so then why do I quiver with fear?
Why am I trapped here when the love is gone?
I'm a prisoner in my own home
These tears flow so frequently
This was never me
I cry for help but it never arrives
At least not that I can see through my swollen eyes
My words fall on deaf ears
Or is that I didn't say them for anyone to hear
Because who would listen to me?
Who cares about me being happy?
Am I too embarrassed to open up?
Why do I have issues with trust?
Who can I turn to?
Is it you?
No, I stand alone
In a very broken home
Crying my life away
While he make me feel low one more day
But I guess this too shall pass
I guess hope the end comes fast