God Take Away the Pain

His smile, charm, and sex appeal melted my heart

His drinking, lies, cheating, and disrespect tore my heart apart

The person that I fell in love with left me a long time ago

And the person that took his place I couldn't get to know

I loved him with everything in me

But I didn't feel that same love poured back into me

I gave all that I could 

I now see that I gave more than I should

Yet even with all of the lies 

The silence brings tears to my eyes

When will this pain go away

I just want to make it through one day

One day without crying

One day without feeling like dying

I want the pain in my heart to go away

But I want the fun memories to stay

They ask how I can still love him though

And honestly I don't even know

But I pray for forgiveness and for God to cleanse me

Because I know that deep down I am not the enemy

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The End of a Cycle

 The pain that I'm hiding has become too much

I'm suffering in silence and losing trust

You have controlling ways 

And dictated my days

You doubted everything that I say 

You took my freedom away

You always questioned who I was talking to

Yet I didn't do the same to you

I sat in silence so that can enjoy your call

But when I'm on the phone I barely got to talk to them at all

Because you all of a sudden had so much to say

Even if we had been next to each other all damn day

And you're friendly to everyone but especially to females

But I better not had even dared think of being that way with males

There's a double standard with everything 

And you grew to be extra mean

But we never speak on what you do

Even if that's the reason that I "acted a fool"

Nope, we always skipped over those details

And focus on me like I'm always raising hell

The drinking stressed me out 

But that's never something you wanted to talk about

The constant gossiping and drama

I got no financial help, yet you gave plenty to your baby momma

You blocked me on most social media so that you could do you

Reacting to their pictures and talking to them in your inbox too

My son even saw it and brought it to my attention one day

But like an idiot I brushed it away

You were unreliable when things needed to be done

But because I stopped complaining about things you felt as if you had won

I was 100% loyal to you

And you claimed you were too

I definitely didn't believe that anymore

I've seen enough that I'm deeply hurt to my core

You messaged people right in my face like I didn't know

I truly believe that you think I'm slow

You jumped between screens whenever I glanced your way

But what's the need to do that unless you're trying to clear something away

And if I asked, you deny

It got to a point where I could no longer cry

I just wanted to feel loved and respected

But I always felt neglected

I felt like I was only good for sex

And even with that I felt as if I was not your best

You claimed that you loved me

But I found that to believe

I never thought that you would be my ex

But I wish you nothing but the best

I pray that sobriety, help, love, and happiness finds you

And I pray to God that he cleanses and bless me too

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Prisoner in my Home

 

I feel like a prisoner in my own home

How did I let things go so wrong?

Noone could have prepared me for this

Nor would I have accepted this

But somehow the love got lost

I accepted the death of this girl boss

I took off my crown

I let the desire for love boss me around

I failed at being an empowering woman

The woman staring back at me is not who I want to be

I can see the plea in her eyes to make her happy

But how do I do that?

How do I bounce back?

There is a dark cloud that doesn’t leave me alone

A thunderstorm is always brewing in my home

I watch the tears fall down my face

As they fall upon my lips for me to taste

I taste the bitterness that I’ve held onto for too long

It’s time for me to right my wrongs

 

Today I take a stand to no longer be pushed aroun

Today is the day that I reclaim my crown

For today is the day that I stare back at myself

And for once I recognize my own wealth

I reclaim my name

I will rise to fame

I will be the best that I can be

I will be happy

Prisoner in my Home © 2024 by Yanee Brinks is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

Hard to say Goodbye

I just want the stress to go away

I just want to see the better days

But what if I'm stuck looking dumb

Because those better days never come

What if misery is all that I see?

What if my dreams have betrayed me?

I just want to be happy with you

I want to see you happy too

But it seems that our time has ended

We've been real life unfriended

You slowly pushed me away

I tried to keep my heart from going astray

But the hurt that you caused me

Helped tremendously in setting you free

I loved you beyond words

I often said I love you even when my voice was unheard

But you had other plans

You obviously didn't want to remain my man

That hurt me more than I can express

It was like someone ripped my heart out of my chest

Just then the Lord told me to keep my head up

Then I remembered that he would always be there when the going got tough

So, I have to set you free

I have to focus on me

Hard to say Goodbye © 2024 by Yanee Brinks is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

Real Shit

I just wanted to know

That you had really let them go

But instead of a loving conversation

I was met with pure aggravation

It left me wanting to cry

Because one thing I never do to you is lie

I'm as open as can be

And I just want the same for me

I just wanted to know that our love is pure

I just wanted to know that it was okay to be sure

I just wanted confidence in us

I just wanted to know that in us I could trust

You say that I talk to guys

I say that those are all lies

Because everything I do is for all to see

I don't answer guys that message me

I don't hide conversations from you baby

It's all out there for you to see

But that's not good enough for you

But I have complaints too

My complaints don't get addressed

Those conversations just gets finessed 

They get turned back on me

While you carry on doing you and being carefree

You say that I get on your nerves

That's the realest thing I ever heard

But it's a two way street boo

You get on my nerves too

I hate not feeling heard

I hate feeling like everything that I say is absurd

I hate feeling like a fuck up in your eyes

I hate crying all the time

I just want to be treated as a Queen

The way that I respect and love my King

Real Shit by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

You Are Worthy

It's not enough to simply say that you care

It's not enough to show up and be there

It's not enough to love through the pain

Because in the end your actions were still vain

You give it your all

You fight with your back against the wall

You cry your silent tears

Wondering why your pleas fall on deaf ears

But the problem isn't you

Do not change what you do

Change who you do it for

Gather your pride and walk out of that door

Move on to bigger and better things

Recognize your worth as a beautiful black Queen

You are worthy!

You Are Worthy by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Monae & Renee: A Tale of Two Sisters

 

Monae and Renee are sisters like no other. Besides being born twins they are best friends and let nothing nor no one come between them. And they do mean no one. With a mom in the streets and a father that often gets pushed away they have only each other.

So with a rocky childhood they were forced to grow up fast and had to learn to survive in the streets. But when you live in the streets life throws you plenty of test and obstacles. Their first obstacle coming very early in life taught them just how close they were and how much closer they would become in life.

Determined to make it in the gritty world these sisters will do anything see one another thrive. Together they can do it but can they stand up to the mean streets and each other when one chooses a different lifestyle?