To My Special Child

You have no idea how I feel
I'm still shocked that this is real
The thought of losing you
Has got me feeling so blue
This is something I've never done before
And having to do it has me feeling like a whore
I'm against killing you
But this is something that I have to do
There will always be a bond between us two
And I will always think about you
Because you are my baby
And the thought of killing you is driving me crazy
Just know that this wasn't my wish
And that I'm having a hard time with this
I cry every night over it
Then pass out feeling like shit
Because I would rather hug and kiss you
Love, nurture, and watch you grow too
Because this just isn't right
But I can't risk losing this fight
But oh how I've come to already love you
It really makes me wish that this isn't true
I just pray that God be with me
As I slowly kill a member of my family
And I ask for forgiveness
Forgiveness for all of this
I will always love you sweet baby

To My Special Child by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.