See You Again

Sometimes I feel life is too hard to go on
Especially when everything I do is wrong
So many people stay mad at me
I can't trust my family
Love abandoned me years ago
And I have friendships that will never grow
I'm a superstar at work but for all the wrong things
They don't care about my performance it's all about my bling
So what is the point of me being here?
The devil is the only voice I hear
He says he knows what I'm talking about
And offers me a way out
Should I take him up on this?
Should I call it quits?
Who's going to miss me?
I feel I should set me free
Because sadly I'm already dead inside
And I'm tired of crying
So I guess I'll see you one day
Some kind of way
And if I don't see you again
Then you know this is the end

Bleeding Heart

Love isn't something that you go looking for
And for some it can seem like a revolving door
For some it can make life happy
Yet I haven't found what it does for me
So these are the days of my life
I can't even say that I've been living right
All I know is that my heart bleeds heavy
And I feel that I'm finally ready
Ready for love and happiness
But all I come across is lies and mess
Sometimes I feel love isn't for me
That I'm not meant to be happy
Because this heavy heart and tear filled eyes
Are a result of too many lies
And with so much hurt in the past
I don't know how long I can last
I'm afraid of what's to come
Because of whats already been done
It's with a heavy heart that I quit trying
But after a while you get tired of crying
So maybe one day
Love will come my way
But until then
I'll be my own best friend

Simply Amazing

I'm not impressed
By how you dress
And your money doesn't move me
I prefer my own money
All I want is you
All of you including your flaws too
Because real love is pure
And it triumphs lust for sure
Just you being you
And the loving things that you do
Can make a person fall in love
And feel that you are truly sent from above
So put on a smile on your face
And don't let it be replaced
Because you are too beautiful inside and out
To sit around and pout
Just know that someone appreciates you
And you'll love and adore them too
But no matter what I want you to remember that I care
That I'll always be there
Because I love you
For simply being you

Dear Diary: Mr. Perfect

I had a dream that I fell head over heels in love with this guy. But it turned out to be just that...a dream. The more my love grew for him the more secrets that I learned. True I researched a couple of things myself but for the most part Romeo wasn't what he claimed. And it broke my heart to know that once again I was played by someone I thought I could trust.
I feel used. I feel betrayed. I feel so disgusted with myself. How do I go on? I jeopardized my home. And what did I get in return? Nothing. The things that I did have me hanging my head in shame. I can't stop crying. I love him but I can't ignore this lie. I've learned that when you want something so bad you overlook things that prove to be important. That's how I ended up here...hurt. And of course doing physical harm to him has come to mind but that's not me. But I want him to feel the hurt that I feel. The sad thing is that I was once a good girl but now those promiscuous thoughts have returned. And it was very easy to awaken the devils that I once danced with. Its like they never forgot and can't wait for more. I still don't know what to do. I need to release the anger built up in me. For right now I will sex with strangers and cut for a rush. Hoping that everything will go dark for good. I can't deal with this. How do you love me when you're actions say otherwise? Was she prettier than me? Was she better in bed than me? Did you buy you the world in just one day? Whatever it was I hope it was worth it. Because I wouldn't have done you that way. My heart and my words were one. And I meant everything that I said while you fed me false feelings. You strung me along for your satisfaction. Now I'm left to pick up the pieces of my life while you move on. So long love. I don't wish you well. In fact I'll see you in hell.

What Would You Do?

What would you do
If I gave my heart to you
Would you do your best to keep it safe?
Or is my love something that can easily be replaced?
Would you shatter it and leave the pieces for someone else to pick up?
Or would you fight to build undeniable trust?
See I've been hurt before
And I'm not trying to experience that anymore
No more crying myself to sleep
Waking up so weak I don't want to eat
No I don't want that
Nor do I want the depression back
But tell me what do I do
When the person I need protection from is you
Hurt too many times
But I can't make up my mind
Can't let you go
But I'm hurting and trying not to let it show
So I ask you again
Before anything can begin
What would you do
If I gave my heart to you...


What Would You Do? by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License..

Decisions

I got a good boy on my team
He treats me like a Queen
But I got a bad boy in my ear
Telling me to come here
Now which one do I choose
Neither one I want to lose
So should I leave the good boy alone?
Let him go build his dream home
And give that bad boy my time
Let him corrupt my mind
Yeah I like the way that sounds
And I know he can go twelve rounds
Because he's no stranger to me
He's already laid hands on my body
So is it so long for the good boy?
Or should he be my back up toy?
Although right now I feel like trouble
While laying in a puddle
And my good boy can't do that
So I think I'll send him back
Then bad boy it is
Sorry good boy but we can't be friends
You're too sensitive for me
Good luck finding a wifey
But you're just not the one for me


Decisions by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Only Fools Fall In Love

You'll never know this pain that I feel
You'll never know that this pain is too real
That I cry when I'm alone
And that I hate being at home
Because I hate having time to think about you
You bring me joy but there's hurt too
I never thought that it would be this way
And I really don't know what to say
I love you but I don't know what to do
Because what brings me joy also hurts too
At night I can't sleep
But I try not to weep
Yet the tears fall anyway
And I can't wipe them away
Because I can't stop thinking about you
Being in bed with someone else too
That thought tears me apart
And that's what hurts my heart
The fact that you're not mine
And never will be at any time
Oh this list can go on
But bottom line I feel so wrong
Again I say that I don't know what to do
But I can't stop loving you
You'll never understand how I feel
But maybe over time my heart will heal


Only Fools Fall In Love by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Judge Me Not

He called me a bad bitch
I said I'm not into that shit
He said he could give me the world
I said I'm not interested in being his girl
Said he could keep me laced
I laughed in his face
So he said he could blow my back out
I told that stupid bitch to watch his mouth
Yet he still asked for my number
This dude is no doubt dumb
I began to walk away
Then I heard him say
"I'll do what your man don't do
I'll spend all my money on you
I don't care about your man
I ain't trying to make you my woman
I'm just trying to fuck
Just to let you know what's up
Dick you down every night
Send you home high and feeling alright"
So I replied
 "It ain't shit that you can do for me
I wouldn't even let you smell my pussy
Furthermore I don't even smoke
And everything out of your mouth is a joke
I have a man that takes care of me
And fulfills my every fantasy
But more importantly I take care of myself
I don't need someone else's wealth
So stick to what you know
Run your game on these stupid hoes
Because you're not ready for someone like me
I'm a boss building dynasty's"
He said he saw what I was about
That's why he thought he'd give it a shot
Now I see him everyday
Because he decided to change his ways
So I gave him a chance
He delivered that romance
That's why I married that man
And I'm proud to be his woman

Mr. Wonderful

I fell head over heels in love with him
He treated me so different than the rest of them
He had my heart on lock
A love I never thought would stop
But all of that changed
Now I cry when I see his name
And the pain is so real
I wish I could really express how I feel
It's an understatement to say that it hurts
I wake and go to bed feeling like dirt
Because he used to put a smile on my face
Now that has been replaced
And these tears flow freely
Eyes so swollen I can barely see
Because I never thought he would hurt me
He's always been the one to protect me
And true I might have created this issue
But I never thought of holding back my "I love you"
Even when I was lil sis
I couldn't imagine this
Now I don't know what to do
And I don't know what is true
I try to be as honest as I can
But he doesn't seem to understand
That there's an issue much bigger than him and me
And that for years I've been dealing with severe anxiety
Declared impaired by the state
But I'd rather work than sit around and wait
I fight everyday that I leave my home
And my best moments are when I'm alone
That's why I self medicate to find peace
Because everything gets to me
And the fact that he doesn't get this
Makes me feel like shit
But even though he doesn't understand
I still think he's an extraordinary man
With tears rolling down my face
I still hold him in a special place
Because to change how I feel about him now
Means that my feelings weren't real anyhow
Yeah I'll promote him however I can
Because I won't down a good man
Just wish I could feel the warmth and love that I did the other day
But I can feel him pulling away
And because I don't know what to do
I'll let go and pray because that's all I can do

 
Mr. Wonderful by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Life..

Yesterday I thought about ending my own life
Because too many things weren't going right
And I hadn't thought that way in a while
Because God had given me a reason to smile
But relationships took a turn for the worse
And I'm the only one that ended up hurt
Problems occurred that I can't handle right now
To be honest I wouldn't even know how
For the first time in a while
I felt like an abandoned child
Because peoples words cut me deep
So hurt I couldn't even cry myself to sleep
And as my tears flowed freely
I pressed the cold steel deeply
I wanted relief from all of this pain
I felt as if I was going insane
Because thoughts kept replaying in my head
And I kept going over what people had said
And I can't lie
I just wanted to die
But now I see
That's not what God wanted for me
Because I'm still alive
Despite my tries I survived
I only wish the thoughts would go away
So that I can be thankful for another day
But darkness has formed all around me
And evil and negativity is all I see
A child of God lost
Fallen victim to my own thoughts


Life.. by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Lock Down

I don't really like to frown
So I'm about to put my heart on lock down
Because I didn't open up my heart
For you to tear it apart
Or to be constantly lied to
I was just fine without you
And if I took my love away
What would you have to say?
Yeah you wouldn't say shit
You'd be more than happy to quit
So let me help you
Bye bye boo
Go away and leave me be
Please don't try to contact me
I'm in my feelings if you can't tell
And it's not a good time for any male
Because all y'all have on us is a dick
And y'all can keep that shit
I can take care of my needs
And all I need is me
Yeah you hurt me and I helped you
So I guess that makes me a fool too
But I never expected this from you
Then again you are a nigga too
Thought I was blinded by love
But I was being played by a wannabe thug
But it's all good though
I'd rather be pissed off than continue to be your hoe
So bye bye boo
I'm already over you

Emptiness

You make me feel so superior
And at times very inferior
I'm on an emotional rollercoaster ride
But our love keeps me by your side
Because I don't know what to do
I'm so in love with you
Even in love with your touch
But emotionally it's too much
Because my feelings for you are so deep
There have been nights were I've cried myself to sleep
Just knowing that I've never loved anyone as much as I love you
I cry but know that it makes me smile too
And these tears that fall at night
Are because in no way will this be right
I keep telling myself not to think that way
Then you say things to make my day
But it stays on my mind
That you're not mine
And that's what makes me cry
I don't want to forever live a lie
But I can't tell you no
And I can't let you go
So I downplay my love for you
And it hurts to have to
Because you're so special to me
And I would love for the world to see
And although that's something that won't come true
My heart will forever belong to you
So no matter I say
Or what happens today
Just know that my love for you will never go away

Emptiness by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

That Special Guy

This man is a very special guy
He's the apple of my eye
The one my heart beats for
A man I truly adore
He makes me smile everyday
And makes me feel special in every way
No one can replace this guy
I wouldn't even recommend that they try
Because why waste my time with them
When I only have eyes for him
He treats me like a Queen
And I treat him as my King
He's shown me what love is
And for that I'll forever be his
I'm forever grateful for his presence
And spoiled off his presents
But he knows that I don't need gifts
All I need is his kiss
And to embrace me with his hugs
A feeling so great I can feel the love
He makes me feel safe at all times
I tell you this man blows my mind
Such power and love in his touch
I absolutely love him so much
He's such a special guy
That's why my love for him will never die

My Handsome Guy

The way that I want you
I can't have you
But my love for you will never go away
And that brightens my day
So I rest easy at night
Knowing that you are still a part of my life
And knowing that I can express this to you
And that you feel the same way too
You are my special guy
That twinkle in my eye
The reason I get butterflies in my belly
Your kisses make my knees feel like jelly
And the way you rub on my butt
Is the reason my body yearns to be touched
Oh this list could go on and on
Because my feelings for you are just that strong
I get lost in your conversation
It's always so mentally stimulating
You don't realize how special you are to me
Baby you are an amazing guy and that's something everyone can see
You know that I adore you
I will forever continue to
Just continue to be you
And remember that I love you

My Handsome Guy by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Stupid You

I'm so confused
I don't know what to do
My mind is saying no
But my heart wants to let my feelings show

But I say fuck all that

I'm about to bring the asshole back

The one you love to hate

But everybody else wants to date

Because I'm tired of being used 

Especially by you

You're a fucking nobody

So why should I let you get to me

I can dead all thoughts of you

And pretend we never happened boo

I can be your worse nightmare

If you want to take it there

But for now I'll play it cool

And we'll see how you do

But please don't forget 

And think that's it over yet

Because sadly for you hun

This has just begun 

Stupid You by Yanee Brinks is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Goodbye So Soon

Letting go of a friend is always hard to do
Even when I saw that I was losing you
And it hurt so bad
Not because of what we had
Because you hurt me the same way my first love did
Something I shared with you and now wish I had hid
And the thought of that pain makes the tears flow freely
That's a memory that will forever haunt me
But I can't blame anyone else
I played a part of this so I blame myself
I just never thought it would be you tho
Maybe because I cared about you and only wanted to see you grow
That's why I never asked you for anything other than your time
Just to talk and get inside your mind
But I wish the best for you
And I hope that you grow into a great man too
Farewell again
I guess this is the end

Fuck Feelings

I'm all in my feelings and for what
Because I'm pretty sure you don't give a fuck
You could care less about me
All you wanted was my body
And once you got that
It was no need for you to call back
Instead it's on to the next
Boy you're colder than my ex
No regards for human life
Only what temporarily feels right
But it's okay
You'll feel my pain one day
And when you do
I won't feel sorry for you
Instead I'll act like a bitch
And talk major shit
Because you really hurt me
I never guessed you would be so carefree
But I'll bounce back
Trust and believe that
Because I always do
And I'll be stronger than you
I'm just temporarily mad
Oh you thought I was sad
Nah I'm just a little crazy
But I try to be a lady
It's just people like you
That make me act the way that I do
So excuse me when I say this
But fuck you from Queen Bitch!

Done Deal

I tried to love you
But I guess that's not something you wanted me to do
Because you blew me off
So now you'll hear my mouth
You've pissed me off and now I'm seeing red
Because I never should have let you in my head
You were a game piece to be played
And it should have ended with us getting laid
But that's what I get tho
I let you treat me like a hoe
Now I'm the one in my feelings
While you're out chilling
I should've kept my heart on lock
Now I'm one with my Glock
Because I'm so angry
Why would you do this to me?
But listen to what I say
When I tell you that I'll be okay
You'll become a distant memory
And will no longer matter to me
You're a heartless bitch
You'll never amount to shit
Lil stupid ass hoe
Keep making it easy for me to let go
And I'll keep doing me
While killing you slowly

Let Me Express Myself

I love you more than you realize I do
But I admit I question whether you really love me too
And even though it would break my heart
I'd rather know now than when our friendship falls apart
Because you mean so much to me
And I have no plans on setting you free
I just want to be wrapped up in your arms
While I fall asleep to your charm
Leaving hickeys on my neck
Then move down to my chest
My body is your playground
So feel free to roam around
But the thing that I love most about you
Is that I can get lost in conversation with you
Communication rules the nation with me
And you've got me open for all to see
And even though I'm trying to express how I feel
You will never know exactly what's the deal
Just know that I love you
That's always and forever too

F*** The New Year

Fuck the new year
All its brought me is tears
I'm trying to live right
But I'm crying every night
I'm trying to stay strong
But the devil is trying to destroy my home
My tear ducts are about to burst
And to make matters worse
The person I thought I could talk to
Turned out to be you
But even you pushed me away
Friends one minute but nothing the next day
I'm so torn apart
There's a huge pain throughout my heart
And I don't know what to do
I guess I'll let go of you
It's clear that I have nothing to gain
Except more heartache and pain
So I'm not being mean
When I say fuck 2016
And if you don't like that
Then it's time for you to fall back