The End of a Cycle

 The pain that I'm hiding has become too much

I'm suffering in silence and losing trust

You have controlling ways 

And dictated my days

You doubted everything that I say 

You took my freedom away

You always questioned who I was talking to

Yet I didn't do the same to you

I sat in silence so that can enjoy your call

But when I'm on the phone I barely got to talk to them at all

Because you all of a sudden had so much to say

Even if we had been next to each other all damn day

And you're friendly to everyone but especially to females

But I better not had even dared think of being that way with males

There's a double standard with everything 

And you grew to be extra mean

But we never speak on what you do

Even if that's the reason that I "acted a fool"

Nope, we always skipped over those details

And focus on me like I'm always raising hell

The drinking stressed me out 

But that's never something you wanted to talk about

The constant gossiping and drama

I got no financial help, yet you gave plenty to your baby momma

You blocked me on most social media so that you could do you

Reacting to their pictures and talking to them in your inbox too

My son even saw it and brought it to my attention one day

But like an idiot I brushed it away

You were unreliable when things needed to be done

But because I stopped complaining about things you felt as if you had won

I was 100% loyal to you

And you claimed you were too

I definitely didn't believe that anymore

I've seen enough that I'm deeply hurt to my core

You messaged people right in my face like I didn't know

I truly believe that you think I'm slow

You jumped between screens whenever I glanced your way

But what's the need to do that unless you're trying to clear something away

And if I asked, you deny

It got to a point where I could no longer cry

I just wanted to feel loved and respected

But I always felt neglected

I felt like I was only good for sex

And even with that I felt as if I was not your best

You claimed that you loved me

But I found that to believe

I never thought that you would be my ex

But I wish you nothing but the best

I pray that sobriety, help, love, and happiness finds you

And I pray to God that he cleanses and bless me too

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